Kirdaar (Characters):
- Chacha (Budha): Thoda behra (kam sunne wala) aur bahut kanjoos.
- Chachi (Ladies): Tej tarrar, Chacha ko har baat pe tokne wali.
- Birju (Ladka 1): Shaadi ke liye pareshan, hamesha jugaad mein rehta hai.
- Lallu (Ladka 2): Thoda buddhu, jo baat ko ulta samajhta hai.
Scene 1: Subah ka Naashta aur Kalesh
(Location: Ghar ka aangan. Chacha khateeya pe baitha hai, Chachi chulhe pe roti bana rahi hai.)
Chacha: (Zor se) Are o bhagwan! Roti de rahi hai ki koyla? Poora ghar dhuan-dhuan kar diya!
Chachi: (Belan dikhate huye) Chup chap khao! Itni thand mein hath pair chal rahe hain, wahi bahut hai. Pension aayi ki nahi?
Chacha: Kya? Station? Station ka kya karna hai ab?
Chachi: Station nahi, PENSION! Paisa! Jo sarkaar deti hai!
Birju: (Entry maarte huye) Mausi, Chacha ka kaan ab machine se nahi, note ki garrahat se khulega.
Lallu: (Haath mein khali katora leke) Bhaiyya, maine suna hai pension se sabko ek-ek cycle milegi?
Birju: Abe gadhe, cycle nahi, Chacha ki shaadi hogi dubara!
Chacha: Kya? Birju ki shaadi? Haan-haan, ladki dekh lo, par dahej mein bhains chahiye!
Scene 2: Chacha ka Check-up
(Birju aur Lallu ne plan banaya hai ki Chacha ko behrepan ka bahana banakar doctor ke paas le jayein aur beech mein se paise nikaal lein.)
Lallu: Chacha, chalo doctor ke paas. Wo kaan mein tel dalega toh sab saaf sunayi dega.
Chacha: Tel? Sarson ka mehnga hai, ghar wala hi daal lo.
Birju: Are sarkari doctor hai, free mein karega. Chaliye toh sahi.
(Doctor ke paas pahunche - Doctor asal mein Birju ka dost hai jo nakli bana hai)
Birju: (Dheere se Doctor se) Abe, aisa darana ki ye dar ke maare saari chabi nikaal de.
Doctor: (Chacha se) Baba, aapke kaan mein toh bhoot ghus gaya hai!
Chacha: (Doctor ko ghoorte huye) Kya bola? Mere kaan mein toot gaya hai? Kya toot gaya?
Doctor: (Chilla kar) BHOOT! GHOST!
Chacha: Oh... Post? Postman aaya tha subah, chitthi de gaya.
Lallu: (Sir pakad ke) Doctor sahab, ye bhoot se nahi, ye bhook se behre huye hain. Inko jalebi khilao, tab sunenge.
Scene 3: Chachi ka gussa
(Chachi ko pata chalta hai ki ye log Chacha ko bevkuf bana rahe hain)
Chachi: (Danda lekar aate huye) Birju! Lallu! Tum dono budhe ko thag rahe ho?
Birju: Mausi, hum toh bas inka ilaaj kara rahe the taki ye apki tareef sun sakein.
Chachi: Meri tareef sunne ke liye kaan nahi, kaleja chahiye! Aur tum (Chacha se), tumne almari ki chabi kahan chhupayi?
Chacha: (Muskurate huye) Haan, halwa bahut swadisht tha. Kal fir banana.
Chachi: Halwa nahi, CHABI!
Lallu: Chachi, Chacha ne chabi shayad bakri ke gale mein baandh di hai.
Chacha: (Achanak thik sunte huye) Bakri ko bechna nahi hai! Wo meri kismat hai!
Birju: Dekha! Paise ki baat aate hi inke kaan DJ ban jaate hain!
Scene 4: Bakri ki Talaashi
(Location: Ghar ka peeche wala hissa jahan bakri bandhi hai. Birju aur Lallu dabe paaon aate hain.)
Birju: Lallu, dekh Chacha ne bola tha ki chabi bakri ke gale mein hai. Chup-chap nikaal le, varna Chachi humein kacha chaba jayegi.
Lallu: Bhaiyya, par ye bakri toh gusse mein lag rahi hai. Dekho kaise ghoor rahi hai!
Birju: Abe bakri hai, sher nahi! Pakad iska pair.
(Lallu jaise hi bakri ke paas jata hai, bakri 'Main-Main' karti hai aur Lallu dar ke maare Birju ke upar gir jata hai.)
Lallu: Bhaiyya, ye toh gaali de rahi hai! Keh rahi hai "bhag jao varna seeng maarungi."
Chacha: (Achanak khidki se chillate huye) Oye! Bakri ko pareshan mat karo! Wo doodh nahi, danda degi tumhein!
Birju: (Hadhbadakar) Nahi Chacha, hum toh bas dekh rahe the ki bakri ko thand toh nahi lag rahi!
Chacha: Kya? Band darwaza? Haan, band kar do, chor ghum rahe hain gaon mein!
Scene 5: Rishteydar ki Entry (Ghalat-Fehmi)
(Location: Aangan. Ek naya banda (padosi) aata hai jo Chacha ka udhaar maangne aaya hai, par Chacha use rishteydar samajh leta hai.)
Padosi: Arre Chacha, wo pichle mahine ke 500 rupaye dene the...
Chacha: (Khush hoke) Aao aao! Birju ke liye rishta laye ho? Ladki lambi hai ki chhoti?
Padosi: Arre nahi Chacha, paise! Udhaar!
Chachi: (Andar se aate huye) Kaun hai re? Birju ke liye rishta aaya hai kya?
Lallu: Ha Chachi, ye keh rahe hain ki ladki 'Udhaar' hai... nahi-nahi 'Udaas' hai!
Birju: (Padosi ko bahar dhakelte huye) Abe tu ja yahan se, abhi kalesh ho jayega. (Chachi se) Mausi, ye keh raha hai ki ladki ke paas 500 bigha zameen hai!
Chacha: 500 rupaye? Itna dahej? Bahut hai, abhi pakka karo!
Scene 6: Chacha ki "Fake" Beemari
(Location: Khateeya. Chacha ne plan banaya hai ki sabka dhyan bhatkane ke liye bimar hone ka natak karein.)
Chacha: (Karate huye) Haye re maai... mar gaye re... koi pani pilao...
Chachi: (Ghabra kar) Kya hua ji? Abhi toh halwa maang rahe the!
Lallu: Lagta hai Chacha ka engine garam ho gaya hai. Birju bhaiyya, thanda pani daal dein kya inke upar?
Birju: (Chacha ki nabz pakadte huye) Mausi, inko 'Chabi-Phobia' ho gaya hai. Jab tak ye chabi nahi dekhenge, tab tak hosh nahi aayega.
Chacha: (Aankh khol kar) Kya bola? Gobhi? Gobhi ki sabzi nahi khani, acidity hoti hai!
Chachi: (Gusse mein) Inka kuch nahi ho sakta. Lallu, ja doctor ko bula ke la, wo sui lagayega tabhi ye thik honge.
Chacha: (Sui ka naam sunte hi khade ho gaye) Sui? Are nahi-nahi, main toh bas yoga kar raha tha! "Anulom-Vilom!"
Scene 7: Chabi ka Raaz Faash
(Location: Poora parivar jama hai. Chacha apni purani sadri (jacket) dhone ke liye nikaalte hain.)
Chachi: Laao ye sadri mujhe do, kab se maili ho rahi hai.
Chacha: Nahi-nahi, isme meri kismat chhupi hai!
(Chachi zabardasti sadri kheenchti hai aur jeb se ek badi si chabi girti hai. Sab dhang reh jaate hain.)
Birju: Ye rahi chabi! Aur hum bakri ke gale mein dhoond rahe the.
Lallu: Bhaiyya, ye chabi toh mere cycle ke taale ki hai! Chacha ne meri cycle ki chabi churai thi?
Chacha: (Sab sun lete hain) Haan! Wo cycle tum tez chalate ho, gir jaoge toh haddi toot jayegi... aur haddi jodne mein paisa lagta hai! Paisa bachane ke liye chabi chhupayi thi!
Chachi: (Belan uthate huye) Oh ho! Toh itna tamasha sirf ek cycle ke liye? Ruk jao budhau, aaj toh tumhein 'Pension' main hi dungi!
(Chacha aage aage, Chachi danda leke peeche-peeche, aur Birju-Lallu taali bajate huye haste hain. Parda girta hai.)
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